Happy Birthday Johnny

Although the celebration in heaven is much bigger, the kids and I celebrated my brother’s life today, June 6th, his birthday. We went to “his” bench, had dessert, wrote letters to him and sent them on their way up via balloons. The notes each kid wrote brought tears to my eyes. Oh how I wish we could all have him still here with us but praise God we know we will be together again in heaven! We left the bench, leaving behind a single mylar birthday balloon so others would know of his special day and head out to find some total stranger to give some random acts of kindness to. It’s a great way to get our focus off our loss and focus on blessings!

Easter Reflections

After our family dinner, we stopped by Cosmo’s Dog Park where Johnny’s memorial bench is (I love this place). We brought new flowers and just spent some time reflecting there. My brother’s life was such an answer to earnest prayer when he finally came into a personal relationship with our Savior about six years before his death. It was then that God opened his eyes and Johnny realized that Christ’s final words, “It is finished” meant that the payment for Johnny’s sins (and ours) past, present, and future were taken care of by the King. No shame is needed when we fail, just total gratitude and awe to Jesus. Whenever you feel like you’ve failed, remember Easter morning when a new life has begun…because each day is new for you too!

The Bench

While at Disneyland, Jon received a message on his phone from the City of Gilbert letting him know my brother’s memorial bench arrived and was already delivered to the park and cemented in (way before schedule)! What a gift from God to have something like that to look forward to back in Arizona.

It was simply torturous that the night we arrived home that I couldn’t walk over to the park to check it out. But my first available moment, the next morning, you betcha I was there, I couldn’t wait. And as I arrived with the boys, my heart was pounding quicker than normal. I had several emotions stirring around me from sadness to sheer joy. Oh how I wanted to sit there, to rub my fingers on the words I had etched on the backside, pray, and feel one step closer to the man I miss so very much. But as I got closer, it was being occupied by a single man. “What should I do?” I thought. So as I was right next to it, I just knelt down and started telling the boys about the bench and just talking about “Uncle” as we refer to him. The man overheard and insisted that he moved and we sat on it. He stayed with us for about 25 minutes or so, wanting to know about my brother. He was so complimentary and even had me take a photo of him on the bench so he could “Tell Johnny’s story” to his friends and family. Neat!

My brother’s bench is at Cosmo’s Dog Park in Gilbert, Arizona overlooking the water/beach area up on the hilltop. It had to be there as it was the place my brother would walk our kids to practically every night after dinner to just sit and watch the dogs. It was because of Johnny doing that that Owen overcame his fear of dogs actually (and desperately wants one).
The bench was only possible because of so many generous friends, strangers, and family that donated items for me to sell in a memorial garage sale. I will forever be grateful for that! God bless you all!

Please, take the time to go to the park and enjoy my brother’s bench that reads,

John Bailey Kovatch, In God’s hands & our hearts!

Please tell me once you do. For me, it’s such a restful place to ponder. I think you will feel the same way too.

John Bailey Kovatch

A year ago today, my life as I loved drastically changed. We got the call from the police that my brother had died, sending us all in total anguish. You’d think that with a year down our belts, it would be easier…not yet. My brother John had a life story that could be written in books or be made into a heartrending movie. His life was less than perfect or envied by others but with all he went through, his life story touched and taught so many. He was a wonderful brother, loved son, super dad, delightfully silly uncle, and God loved man. I am very proud of my brother and feel like the most blessed person to have had him in my life. I miss him greatly and can’t wait to see him again in heaven. Praise God I have that assurance!

Below is a photo slide show of my brother’s life. Thank you for taking the time to watch it. His life is worth celebrating and remembering!

Memorial Garage Sale

For two weekends, I ran a garage sale to raise money for a memorial bench at Cosmo’s Park in my brother John’s name. It’s been almost a year in the making. When we found out last July the cost was going to be $1,200 we knew it would take a lot of help. It seemed almost impossible, yet I knew in my heart “What is impossible with man is possible with God!” Luke 18:27. I began praying, asking God how in the world He was going to get this money into a fund and then he answered…G-A-R-A-G-E S-A-L-E! Knowing the answer, I sent out an email to local friends and family and the generous donations of items to sell in the garage sale began pouring in! Seriously…it was amazing! Today we went to the bank to deposit the earnings, our total…$1,900! Not only will I be able to buy the bench this week, I will also be able to help out with the cost of the burial in California sometime soon. Praise God.

For those that donated, thank you! May the Lord bless you for blessing us too abundantly!

For April and Mrs. Charlotte, thank you for agonizing in my garage for hours upon hours, pricing things with me as the high temperatures were 110+!

I get to have 28 characters per slat (and I have two slats). I’d love suggestions from everyone on what to put on this permanent bench for all to see. It has to be special!

June 5th

Today would have been my brother’s 44th birthday. It’s a sad day. I’ve felt up in the air of what to do; how to celebrate, what traditions to create, and how to morn. Tonight the kids and I went to Cosmo’s dog park, just minutes from my home, a place he’d take my kids to every day! We had a quiet picnic (Mexican style since that was Johnny’s favorite) then sent off his homemade birthday cards to heaven with the help of some helium birthday balloons. He’s greatly missed. I wonder what birthdays are like in heaven.




Here's some photos from last year's 43rd birthday party at my house...

The Difference a Year Makes

I'm awake and just feeling, "here", kind of "Eyoreish" today (that's for you Tina;)). One year ago today marks the day my brother moved in with us for the last time. I remember it vividly and think of all the plans/dreams we made together and the super time we had with him in our home, watching him play with the kids and make us all laugh. I'm not even sure why I am writing any of this today. I don't want people to feel sorry for me or even call/write. I guess I'm just finding a way to "vent" my overwhelming emotions and putting it out there so others can understand maybe what my state of mind/emotions are right now. Hopefully I will not hurt/offend anyone during this time of sadness. I’ll be back to “normal” shortly, I’m sure.
So...today seems to be the start of the countdown towards his ever-to-early death in July 2007.